Sunday, October 10, 2010

Out of balance again

My life is out of whack again, unfortunately. How do I know? Well, my feeling of being overwhelmed was growing, and growing, and growing until my body physically couldn't take all the activity anymore. Then I got sick (last week). I wouldn't be able to diagnose it as a full-on cold or flu, but I had hardly any energy, I wasn't jumping out of bed in the morning like I usually do (I'm a morning person, what can I say?), and had off-and-on chills and low-grade fevers. I was pretty useless as a homeschooling teacher (did Maylin learn anything last week? not much from Mom, that's for sure), and have left the house in an abhorrent situation. Hey, at least the kitchen's semi-clean (sink is full of dirty pans, but other than that, kitchen is spic and span!) and I did pick up all the gnarly remnants of toys destroyed by our dog (goodbye, Mr. Plastic Whale, empty yogurt container, and Thomas the Train track piece).

I'm only feeling a little bit better. It doesn't help when I'm plagued with sleep deprivation caused by events like what happened last night, which was basically my playing a game of family musical beds (but pretty much by myself). I started off in my bed with Maylin (John and Stefan on Stefan's full-size bed). Then, when Stefan cried in the middle of the night for Mommy, John and I swapped spots, putting me in Stefan's bed. I couldn't go back to sleep, as usual. I tried to make it back to my own bed, but realized that it was occupied by two bodies already. I attempted to sleep in Maylin's bunk without hitting my head on the ceiling. As I was finally drifting off with a pile of chapter books as my bed buddy, I was awakened again by Stefan's crying. I made it safely down the bunk back into Stefan's bed -- and did I go back to sleep? Fortunately, I did. But I couldn't make myself get to my beloved jazz dance class in the morning. Mama was running on very low, economy power. I knew I needed to rest. I knew I had few chances to lay in bed and rest my heavy head, so I took it -- gladly.

So, sleep deprivation and overextending myself. I'm paying for it. I volunteered to do a couple things for two different organizations, but they're taking more time than I anticipated. It's all still fun, though. It's stuff I like to do, and one of the jobs I actually suggested myself. So I'm handling the Scholastic book orders for our homeschooling charter school (I love books and working with people), and designing a t-shirt for the choir I'm singing in now. Fortunately, I've given myself a deadline for the t-shirt design, so that's pretty short-term. The book job is fun and only takes a lot of time because I end up being addicted to shopping for books myself. I did something smart and deleted most of the orders I had saved the night before. Hours of my time wasted, but lots of money saved!


Anonymous said...

Hi Caroline,
Sorry to hear about your "monkey mind". I'm not meditator (sic) but I know you from long ago and I'm sure you'll clear up the mud or buzz!!!
Life is complicated and will be even more complicated as your children grow. They are beautiful, what a joy they are!
I'm fine, considering having two cancer operations, one less than a week ago. I can't wait to go back to the good old routine, it is really boring to be sick.
I'm glad you're still writing, if nothing else your blog. You have many gifts, maybe too many! It may be necessary for you to chose one and dedicate yourself to it.
Hugs and best wishes,

Caroline Jou Armitage said...

Hi, Katalin,
So wonderful to hear from you! Sorry to hear about the cancer. I hope you will be able to resume a happy, productive life after your surgery. It'd be nice to get back in touch! I'll bring the kids and come visit you. E-mail me! Go to my profile, and you should be able to send me an e-mail with the click of a button. Hear from you soon!