Friday, October 19, 2007

Real *new mommy* fashions

1. Wear your pants inside out unknowingly
(This really happened to me, and no one told me! I didn't realize until I got back home after an entire day of running errands. This is what results from too little sleep!)
2. Spit-up shoulder accessory
(Nothing like some digested milk -- in curd form -- to draw attention to your attractive shoulder.)
3. "Is that poop?" sweater
(I did in fact go out into the world wearing poop on the front of my sweater. While doing a diaper change, I had dodged a projectile poop. Thought I was successful, but apparently was not when I saw something that was either peanut butter, mustard, or baby poop on my brand-new sweater.)
4. Burp cloth shoulder accessory
(Did I forget to take that thing off?)
5. Wear your pajamas all day
(Your pajamas need to look like regular clothes. Or you can do what I do -- turn your regular clothes into your sleeping clothes.)
6. Wear your maternity clothes
(Because you don't fit into your old clothes. Chest too big, belly too big, etc.)

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