Thursday, October 11, 2007

In my mind at 3:46 am

Ah, I'm back to my usual ramblings in the wee hours of the morning. I should be totally exhausted and konked out in bed since I'm a mommy to a 5 week-old, but for some reason, my brain is awake and kicking. So it's time to just let it all out so hopefully I can get to bed again (and perhaps you can be entertained in the meanwhile).

Okay, this is bizarre, but I'm actually enjoying doing housework now (only for the moment). It's the only "project" which I can accomplish to a reasonable degree and is a diversion from baby care. I've always confessed to being the worst housekeeper, but I think I have the cleanest kitchen I've ever had. And ladies, don't you hate it when your man cleans out his coffee maker and leaves coffee grounds in your freshly bleached sink and all over your pristine counters? I used to get mad and complain, but now, I just bite my tongue and rinse the little guys away before they stain. It only takes a few seconds to remove the misery.

I don't really want to spend my free time cleaning. What I fantasize about doing is:
- learn to play the cello (or at least try it out for a month)
- learn to silkscreen t-shirts, baby onesies, and greeting cards
- compose some music (voice and piano)
- sing in a musical
- make a quilt
- sew a plushie/softie (view examples on my flickr page under Caroline's Creations)
- clean out all my junk in the back room
- go to the gym and take classes again
- shop at H&M again
- lose some weight (whoah, nineteen pounds to go -- let's see how long that takes)

Since I'm nursing, I can't try too hard to lose weight. I'm supposed to increase my caloric intake a little and haven't gotten the okay from my doctor to exercise seriously (sit-ups are out of the question for the moment). I think I haven't lost anything for the last two weeks, but at least I'm down twenty-two pounds from just before Stefan's delivery. (Yes, I gained forty-one pounds during this pregnancy, but this is nothing compared to the whopping fifty-five pounds I added on when I was pregnant with Maylin. I was HUGE!)

I've adjusted back quite easily to American living -- it's ever so convenient! -- but I do miss the charms of Paris. Being able to walk everywhere with ease! When we moved back to Berkeley after staying with my parents in the Central Valley this summer, I got back into the routine of getting groceries and running other errands. Maylin would often come along and expressed her distaste for taking the car. She preferred to walk. So did I. We both missed walking down the block to get groceries, or walking to the metro to take the train to another delightful part of the city. But something changed with Maylin on Saturday. I took Maylin to my friend's birthday party which was about a two-minute drive up steep and windy roads through the Berkeley hills. She was disappointed that the ride was so short!

Maylin's still loving school and says she prefers school to being at home. What a change from last year! On weekday mornings, she would wake up and be really upset (sometimes cry) after I told her she had to get ready for school. These days, she wakes up asking, "Do I have school now?" and gets happy and excited. She's out of bed in no time and gets dressed and brushes her teeth with no resistance whatsoever. Mornings are a breeze! Who would have thought?

I feel a little tinge of jealousy when she says she likes school better than being home with Mommy, but I'm also proud that she's growing up and becoming so independent. I have to say home with Mommy isn't terribly exciting when Mommy is so busy taking care of Stefan all the time. Fortunately, I still get to help her with her homework (yes, homework in kindergarten!) and some days get to read to her after school (outside of bedtime reading).

Maylin is a wonderful big sister. She's not just loving towards Stefan (loves to hold him, touch his head, and just look at his face), but has an instinctive ability to soothe him (rocks him in his bouncy seat, or moves his stroller back and forth when he's in it inside the house, or just talks to him when he's in his crib -- assuring him that Mommy is coming soon). Quite the mother hen.

Okay, I should try to get some sleep otherwise I'll be a mess during the day. Have a great day, everyone!

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