Monday, March 05, 2007

X-rated dog show

Our dog Leo can do some pretty embarrassing things. Fortunately, I'm beyond embarrassment as he tries to mount other male dogs or unsuccessfully pee on someone's motorcycle or hubcap (his trajectory doesn't go as high as it used to).

Yesterday, Leo did something that I haven't seen him do in about two years. This is what John and I call the "air-hump." I know, some of you are blushing right now as you realize what it is, but for those of you who are less prone to imagining such things, let me describe it to you in the most tactful way possible. A completely involuntary movement, it involves a thrusting of the hips in a sexual manner, which is repeated over and over until the dog's excitement has worn down. The dog's four legs are in contact with the ground at all times, yet it is possible to walk.

I was walking Leo on Boulevard Pereire -- we had just dropped off a video at a rental store -- when we ran into one of my girlfriends, who is very kind to watch Leo when we go out of town. I know she loves Leo, but I was not aware how much he loved her when, after our hellos, he began his desperate air-hump routine. My friend was quite puzzled by what was happening. I just felt sorry for Leo as I explained what he was experiencing. I know he wanted his thrusting to stop and tried to walk it off. The whole episode probably lasted a minute, but it felt like a lifetime, in plain view of all the drivers stopped at the traffic light.

The last time I went through a similar scenario with Leo was about two years ago in front of a neighborhood Italian restaurant in the summer. One of our friends was having dinner outside on the corner with a colleague. Our friend gave Leo quite a vigorous rub which sent him into his uncontrollable frenzy -- sending pedestrians to the other side of the street and leaving other outdoor diners in bewilderment. Eek -- why does this always happen in public?

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