Monday, May 15, 2006

My response to a comment

Comment from reader:

From what you are telling here, it seems that you, your daughter and your husband are the only persons in your world. Wasn't there anybody in Paris to help and comfort you during this difficult period of time ?

My response:

Don't forget, in my world, there's also Nemo, the goldfish, and Leo, our beloved dog. But seriously, of course there were people available to help and comfort me locally. I did accept help from some of our closer friends, for example, for babysitting and dogsitting. And many more offered to help in any way they could, but I'm more of an isolationist when it comes to grieving. I don't want to burden others, and I don't like to talk about sad things since I'm generally a happy person. Blogging may not seem to some as the ideal activity for an isolationist, but it's my way of getting news out to friends and family without needing to get into too much detail, and without seeing the immediate reactions on people's faces, which would probably pain me.

I understand that some people would hate to be left alone at a time like this, inviting friends and family over for comfort regularly. But, I prefer being left alone until I feel I'm a good distance away, time-wise, from the situation and other people are comfortable enough to talk to me normally. I don't want to see the pity on people's faces. Compassion -- good, pity -- not good.

People who know me see me as a strong person. So here's another explanation for not enlisting more help from friends: I have a tendency to want to brave difficult things on my own. I am also fortunate enough to have the built-in ability to "bounce back," which helps.

I'm sure my blog can give a very skewed sense of my personality and identity. I don't divulge all the information in my life, but some readers seem to think that what they read is what they get when there's a whole lot more to me. I also don't often talk about the people in my life outside of my family nucleus, in case I might displease a friend or family member unintentionally. You may have noticed that I do not give out names of anyone either, to protect the identities of those who may or may not choose to be hidden.

I do know there are readers whom I don't know personally who take great interest in my blog and feel a connection to me. That's a remarkable thing about blogging that I didn't expect. It seems you need to be a kindred spirit to be able to understand me from just the few words I write.

Hope this helps everyone understand me a little bit better. This response is probably longer than it needed it to be, but I think I was reading into the reader's comment. Ah well, I feel better anyhow.

By the way, I wrote a lot about Maylin in my last entry because many people like to read about her and because she's such a big part of my life. John and Maylin are my life. They are my world.


Camie Vog said...

You go, sister!
I love your blog! I found you randomly, I think. It's been a while, so I can't remember...

Never do I expect you to "divulge" intimate details of your life. I do expect you to blog about whatever you want, whenever you want. Solely on your terms! It is YOUR blog, for god's sake! Comment trolls are the worst. They most often comment without reading the whole post, and rarely take the time to check the posts in the archives.
*Deep breath* *Keep breathing, Camie*
Okay...much better.
Caroline, I am hardcore when it comes to my blog posts. If people don't like it, they should stop reading it and go away. I tend to ignore stupid comments. That is the philosophy I take when I read other blogs. There have been times that I have been disappointed by a blog, and confused about why people find it so great. I even posted about a blog that irritated me because I couldn't get the icky feeling out of my head. Never once in that post did I let on which blog I was refering too....because deep down, it wasn't the bloggers fault, it was mine. The content didn't fit me so I ranted on my blog and never returned to the icky blog again.

Speaking of my blog, it was just review by Lucky at Desert Odyseey. I have gotten the highest review he has given out, thus far. I was surprised how well the blog did, and am actually very proud. Go check it out. You can get to the review via my blog post of May 16, 2006. Just hit the "Go" link on the post.
Continue to take care of yourself, Caroline. I apologize for the extra long rant comment. Like I said, I like your blog and you, so I tend to snipe at clueless outsiders.

Caroline Jou Armitage said...

Thanks, you're a great cheerleader, Camie. Congrats on your great blog review. Keep up the good work. Lucky was a bit nit-picky with his view on your layout/template, though. You have a very entertaining blog with an upbeat voice. I can see why so many people read it and comment. Keep writing...